Pleasing Kiki...

At Kiki's request, I am making up a story about yesterday's events.

My alarm went off right on schedule at 6 a.m. I climed out of bed and started on my daily routine. First up, feeding my Llama. That's right I said, llama. Her name is Lola. She's pretty. Well, she lives on a diet of eggplant and okra. You boil them in a vat of grease for 40 mins before serving it up.

So there I was, outside spoon-feeding Lola her mulch, and I see a funny fog drifting across the yard. I couldn't help but stare. It was so pretty, all glimmery and purple. And stinky!!! It smelled like cinnamon...and feet. It was not good.

Lola started freaking out as the fog encased us, my eyes got all blurry and my head began to pound. I ran for the door, feeling more like vomitting with every step. I slammed the door shut behind me. I ran for the shower, it felt like my skin was burning!!! I stepped in letting the cold water wash over me.

Chunks of my hair started falling out and clogging the drain. I couldn't pull the hair out to stop the shower from filling. I grabbed at the glass door and couldn't slide it open. I was trapped. I stood there as the water filled the shower, pounding on the door for help. No one was home, who did I think I was going to hear me.

Everything went black, I could feel my chest constricting. My head became heavy. There was no flashes of childhood memories, no warmth of a loved ones touch, no last kiss, no light. Just an empty sense of dark.

Suddenly, the glass gave and I fell out on to the bathroom floor gasping for air.


So there. I wasn't around yesterday because I died.

And I am full of shit
And I had wanted to do something way differnet with this...but I got bored.