Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Songs To Rage By...

So earlier today, I was thinking that I was digging myself a hole. I have picked up Thursday nights in the restrauant. Well, we had an issue with one of the new employees recently that left Tuesdays open also. So I picked those up. I was thinking that I should be more stressed then what I am, but I think alot of it has to do with not being miserable at work.

So, I am bopping along to work all bundled up, braving the elements. I get there to find that the new girl, changed the schedule and decided to work today after all. Der.

Not that's it's a big deal, but I lost 30 minutes of time I could have been doing homework to someone else's stupidity.

And I was going to use my tip money to send myself to see Hitman tonight. Double Der.

A Statement of Lust...

Vitamin Water completes me.

I am addicted. Lord help me.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

The First Thanksgiving...

So today, I am hosting my very own Thanksgiving for my friends. And because it will be filled with mishaps and shenanigans, I shall post live updates for the most of the day.

7.58 am: Off to Wal-mart. In my slightly altered state last night (drunk), I forgot to go back to Wal-mart and get things like the turkey roasting bags, and milk.

9.29 am: I just realized that while I knew I wouldn't have enough plates, it never dawned on me that I didn't have enough utensils. Off to Wal-mart.

9.32 am: "Why won't you poop?" Davey just asked the dogg. (And yes it's, Dogg, the dogg is gangsta)

9.36 am: "It's like throwing a hot dog down the hallway. That's why she doesn't like it." Davey's insight on why Junior's roommate doesn't like sex.

9.51 am: "Why can't Sean Connery host the parade just one time?" - Junior

11.52 am: "Mom's stuffing looks like shit." Text from little brother. (Her stuffing is the most vile creation on the planet. Nothing good about it on earth. Possibly the one side dish to ruin the holiday world wide.

12.20 pm: "Girls like my dough nuts." Pook, my roommate.

12.10 pm: (I forgot...my bad) Jennigirl, one of my waitresses just burst into my apartment, "Juice, I need a beer." She's making beer bread for tonight's feast.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I Once Saw A Movie With Betty Grable...

Thanksgiving is shaping up nicely. I am having 15 (ish) people in my house for Thursday. I am kind of freaking out about it, but only because I don't want to mess it up.

To be honest, I am so excited to be making my own holiday. I hope I can make this work. I'd love for this to be a tradition.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

It's A Long Way To Happy From Rock Bottom...

It's hard for me to hear about him sleeping with our friends and not be bothered by it. It just hurts.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Wait, What...

Gene Simmons died?

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

They Are All Adorable...

ok...Well, not all of them. There is an ugly one or two out there.

I met Bartender's little brother Sunday night. First of all, let's just touch on the fact that my heart did the icky thump a bump thing when I walked into the house and he was holding this sleeping little boy close to his chest. And when we did the pass the sleeping baby without waking him deal, my mind couldn't help but think, what if.

Now that I have that out of my system, god, being in love with your best friend is not an easy thing.

What a sweet little boy. As I was sitting there talking with his parents and running my fingers gently along his tiny little leg, I am not going to deny that I flinched and sort of retracted my fingers every time I got to his club foot. I didn't flinch out of shock or disgust, but I was really concerned about hurting him. I know that's silly, but he's so fragile and new, that I just felt like touching it would hurt and wake him.

All and all, sweet little boy. The one time he peeked his eye open at me, I felt like he was giving me a little gift.

Turn To Page 127...

Ever think that life is like one of those fantasy "choose your own adventure" books, where you decided how the story ended? Well, it is, isn't it?

I have quietly decided to turn to page 127, to see what happens next. I have concretely decided that my major of choice is Marketing. But what to do with it has been the question all along.

Today, I have decided that I am minor-ing in Communication. I am going to attempt to enter the field of Public Relations. It's all about passion, the entire field. You have to sell the shit out of whatever is tossed at you. Whether it's an event, a press release, dealing with a management company, etc., it's all about portraying an image and backing it up.

Everything I have read simply comes down to this, you have to want it. Want someone to talk about your event, want someone to hire you, want to be the best. I think we can safely say that with all the obstacles that have been tossed at me in the last year, that I have a little bitty fire driving me and I really think this is something I would do well at.

So, I wonder what will happen next?

Pending Updates...

I have so much to update you on....tonight.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Different Eyes...

I had a 15 hour field trip for Geology yesterday. Wow, did I see some cool shit! I saw some of the most beautiful rock formations ever. And I saw them with new eyes. What I once thought would have just been a wonder of nature, has me seeing the geology significance, and looking quite a bit closer then I normally would have.

Well, I will get more into it tomorrow, but let's just say it's all fun to you drop your camera down a cliff.

Big day today. Working. Going to a funeral. Going back to work to work an event. And then getting Anners drunk to mourn the passing of her Momma. I am going to cry today.

On the docket for tomorrow is telling Bartender, how selfish I am and not wanting him to date a friend of ours. Oh boy.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Shut Up Butthead, I'm Trying To Score...

So I met up with Bartender today to vent about my Melly issue. It's been heavy on my mind all day. I can't get passed this. I have never been so hurt before. The situation was gone over a thousand times (because I wouldn't let it go), with a thousand different endings.

Was she drunk? Oh yes.

Do I think she would have asked the same thing sober? Oh yes, just would have worded it differently. She's just that selfish. It's sincerely about how everything looks. It's always about appearance with the shallow ones.

Here's the thing. The exact words came out of her mouth...

"I need you to lose weight before the wedding. I need "us" to be pretty."

There is no mistaking what exactly was meant by that. Which is really unfortunate, because I have been dealing with issues of feeling invisible amongst my beautiful friends. I felt like last night I wasn't pretty enough to be her friend. That me being there, all fat and unpretty, is actually going to be a belmish in her wedding album.

I don't have the best self-confidence in the world, I'll admit this. I think at one time I was a pretty girl. A girl that people took notice of, and then I got fat. I'm not ugly, but I am by no means a pretty girl. I promise you, that you would look right past me in a crowd and never even notice me. It's taken me a long time to accept this. A long time. Like with in the last year, I became ok with it. This week has pushed me back about a million steps.

It wouldn't be bad, but I just started going back to the gym, Monday. This happened yesterday. Part of me wants to let it roll of my (very large) back, and part of me just wants to have deep fried twinkies dipped in lard every day between now and the wedding.

I haven't really eaten all day, I have had a granola bar and 3/4 of a tossed salad. It's not that I am starving myself or anything, but the thought of food just makes me want to barf right now.

Am I Not Good Enough...

Melly and her boyfriend have begun to talk wedding plans, despite he hasn't asked that crucial question.

Last night she told me to lose weight before the wedding, because she wants "us" to be pretty for the wedding.

Um. I know I'm nothing much to look at, but fucking ouch.

I'm pretty upset at her right now, and her drunk ass doesn't even know it. Dumb, spoiled little bitch.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Holy Posts...

Try to keep up...ok?

"You Have More Homework Then Anyone I Have Ever Known..."

Words Davey spoke to me the other day. It feels true. It's heavy on my mind as it's time to enroll for spring semester.

I am signed up for: Intro to Philosophy, Motion Picture Appreciation, and English Comp 1.

Pssh. Ain't no thing. I'm gonna have a much smoother ride next semester, I imagine.

Look How Far They've Come...

If Matchbox twenty ever announces tour dates....

I am so there. I don't care if I have to remove my pancreas to go.

(I'm destined to be diabetic, I figure I'll give this one up and buy a new one on the black market anyway.)

Movie Mumblings...

I go through phases where I watch a ton of movies lately and then nothing for weeks.

This week I watched, Music and Lyrics and the start of Alpha Dog

Music and Lyrics is completely a chick flick. No hiding that. The best part of this movie described my love affair with music...

"A melody is like seeing someone for the first time. The physical attraction. Sex. ... But then as you get to know the person, that's the lyrics. Their story. Who they are underneath. It's the combination of the two that makes it magical."

My thoughts exactly.

Oh, and the first half of Alpha Dog looked good as hell. Bartender is supposed to take me to see American Gangster Wednesday night. I'm excited as hell for this movie, we'll see if he follows through. I may go without him, I want to see this film that bad.

Something That Caught My Ear...

Sometimes, I get wrapped up in the things that we call "life", it's songs like this that catch my ear and make me think.

Carrie Underwood - So Small

What you got if you ain't got love
the kind that you just want to give away
It's okay to open up
go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it's hard on a rainy day
you want to shut the world out and just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith

'Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand
What you've been up there searching for
forever is in your hands
When you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
seem so small

It's so easy to get lost inside
a problem that seems so big at the time
it's like a river thats so wide
it swallows you whole
While you sit around thinking about what you can't change
and worrying about all the wrong things
time's flying by
moving so fast
you better make it count 'cause you can't get it back

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand
What you've been up there searching for
forever is in your hands
When you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small

I Can't Even Will Myself Warm Right Now...

The thin blanket of snow that covered my almost picturesque small town was still here when I woke up this morning. It's thinning as the day progresses but it's a very clear sign of the season.

I have been chilled on campus all day staring out windows of class rooms and have caught myself thinking, "It even looks cold today", as I stare out across the lake that my beautiful campus sits on.

I am sitting here wearing a long sleeve t-shirt and can't ignore the slight prickle of goosebumps that has been pestering my skin all day. My iPod is blasting sounds that imply the warm of carefree summer days in my ears. Artists like Kenny Chesney, Long Beach Dub All Stars, Colbie Caillat, The Contagious Remedy (a friend's band), and others that simply beg me to drive with the windows down and feel the warmth of the sun on my face are simply not sufficient today. I feel I should replace them with the crisp, cool sounds of a modern jazz ballad, perhaps a little Chris Botti or Michael Buble.


I feel this day would be best spent in front of a fire place with warm cider or tea. Since I have neither, I guess I will destroy the attempted beauty of this post, and say this...

Fuck it dude, I'm going tanning.

Monday, November 05, 2007

What Did She Say...

I said...

I am going to do absolutely nothing tonight. Sit on my butt kind of nothing. I am not opening text book...washing a dish....nothing!

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Happy Birthday...

Cole Jordan Bartender.

November 1st, 7:20 p.m. 6 pounds 12 oz.

YAY!

That's Hot...

My friend Tom tom decided to spend the haunting holiday in Vegas this year.

Last night, he called from Paris Hilton's Halloween party. I could tell I have been hanging around with the boys to long when all I had to say is...

"If you don't hit that from behind, you should probably not come home."

LOL, quick. I need a manicure and a Reese Witherspoon movie.

**Baby update** Bartender's mom went in this morning...still no baby.

Kick You When You're Down...

So, Davey points out I have a very flat tire. I am advised to drive it to Holiday and deal with it tomorrow. Driving it to Holiday shreds my tire. Not just a little....ALOT tire bits all over the place.

New tires. That's what I get. This never happened on the old ones.