The Dark Side of Mail...

So, I get this very nice linen like envelople today with the interoffice mail. We got all excited since more then one of us got them, prephaps it was an invitation to Monica's (from a northern office) wedding. Excitedly, we tore into them. IT WAS A DAMN CHAIN LETTER.

And it's not like I wish bad luck on people, but I never send those things out. I mean too....But it never works out that way. So Saltine and I have created our own chain letter that you should all be receiving at your homes shortly. (see below).


To whom it may concern:

You have been sent this letter because you have a lot of friends. You must pass this letter on to 2000 people in the next 8 minutes to avoid a horrible accident! Some that did not pass this on include:

Mary Alice Snodgrass, 84, of Amarillo, TX:
Mary Alice had just sprayed her oven with Easy-Off when she heard that the mailman had come. Upon reading her mail, she got this letter and thought nothing of it.
She began to get her bingo kit ready when something had startled her and she fell over. Upon falling, Mary Alice had hit her head on the open oven door, knocking her unconscious. Her body was found 3 days later by her gay son, Skip. Cause of death was the fumes from the Easy-Off.

Nipsy Jones, 17, of Hooterville, WY:
Nipsy had gotten this letter earlier in the day and thought nothing of it. While at work, during the middle of her Pole Dance routine, Nipsy fell off stage and was stabbed through the heart by a drink straw. By the time paramedics responded to the call, all they could remove was the lemon slice that was attached to the straw.

Dick Wiener, 96, of Sunnyvale, Ca:
Dick had received this letter and thought nothing of it. He was on a "Seniors Trip" with the Happy Ending Nursing Home, going to the Hillshire Farm Factory. While in the casing room, Dick, who had been clacking his dentures, had lost his dentures and had some lower extremities tubed. Because he was on Blood thinners; no amount of sausage could stuff the open wounds.

Juanita Watkins, 18, of Bridge Overpass (Hwy 82, third box from the left):
Juanita found this letter and thought nothing of it. While walking one of her 11 children to "Lucky’s" crack shack (6 boxes to the right), Junaita was hoping to barter some food stamps for some of "Lucky’s" famous garbage flame chicken. While at Lucky’s, Juanita
got a little too close to that open fire. The flames connected with the poor girls’ Jhericurl and POOF! All that didn’t burn were her Dollar Tree extensions.

So you see, if they had THOUGHT SOMETHING of this letter, perhaps utter disaster could have been avoided. Please do not be a Dick (Wiener) and pass this on.

Add your name to the bottom of this letter and forward to 2000 people immediately within the next 8 minutes.

and to think....I almost called in today