I Would Never Make To The Edge Of Town...

Before someone spotted me. How these people can just walk away and not have anyone see them, baffles me. I can't go to Wal-Mart with out someone knowing where I am.

And ok, HOW SELFISH!!! I can tell you, she wasn't paying for that wedding, or her ass would have been there. 600 invitations!!! A bridal party of damn near 30! Ok, as I bridesmaid, I would be pissed, if the bride took off. What the hell do you do with a peach colored formal?

This got me thinking about Audrey. The UW student who faked her own abduction. First of all, I am not clever enough to pull that off and second, damn....you need a break bad if you have to pretend to be kidknapped.

The Moment I Knew I Had Made It Was...

When I am number 19 on Google when you search for strange freak. Damn that Emily Strange for being so endearing.

I Am The Chick Lit Queen...

I just finished reading See Jane Date by Melissa Senate. Fluffy, girly goodness. I am thinking about cracking into the new Nicholas Sparks book tonight.

So I Think I Might...

Be moving out soon. Had the Mom talk. Got the dog situtation squared away. Even told Annie. Now I just have to call the land lord.

So what are you getting me for a housewarming?

Interesting/Stupid News...

Thanks to Blogger Buddy Mark, I came across this story. This blows my mind.

Now this is a new low even for a tabloid. But at least they can admit when they are outright lying to you.

If they kick Bo off for this, I am going to be pissed. They are letting wife-beating Scott stay, so what's a little blow among friends...But it does make me look at him different.

How do you go from Penelope Cruz to Katie Homes? What will Dawson say?

I have been looking into getting my own place...Can anyone help me with the financing? Brangelina is the funniest thing I have ever heard.

You are now up to speed...

Pick-Up Line of The Week...

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.

I Totally Understand How It Feels...

So I was at the bank today cashing in my change. I promptly deposited my change. I save my change for things like taking vacations. I deposit the change into my checking account and write myself a check to myself for my savings account at an additional institution. (I have accounts at 3 different banks). ANYWAY...The teller who waited on me (Kiki) messed it all up to the point that i had to withdraw 5 cents to make her balance....but after 20 minutes of trying to figure it out...I had to deposit the 5 cents I had to withdraw....because she is a dork.

What A Shame...

Constantine was robbed. Don't get me wrong, I am soooo very glad that Anthony is still there (I want to have his babies). But Scott so does not deserve to be there.

Stealing 3rd...

I guess I missed a rather important meeting yesterday. The teller are no longer permitted to speak to each other. Which is nice, since they are trying to figure out why we aren't happy here, this should help.

So the tellers are working on developing a secert language. If it looks like someone is trying to tell you to steal 3rd base. It means thank you.

Movie Mumblings...

Last night MM, PS and I, watched Closer. From the bits I saw I really liked it. PS and I were carrying on a conversation midway thru and I missed parts of it. But it's harsh realities were a glaring bright white light. It's amazing how 4 people can mistreat each other and still come back for more. On the 87% I watched, I give it 3 of 5 stars, might be my highest rating lately.

And have I mentioned my love for Jude Law lately? It's a toss-up between his ocean blue eyes and his accent as to which I find more attractive.

Green Does Not Look Good On Me...

I hung out with Meox Mix and Prof. Snape last night. While balancing their checkbooks, Prof. Snape switched out the CD players in my car. I was overjoyed to have MY player in my car. There was nothing wrong with the other one, it was just old and not mine. MM wanted to go bowling so very bad, while in transit, MM split a nail and ripped it so it was not to get caught while bowling. Well, it went a little deep and she bled some. When we got to the bowling alley PS's germ phobia kicked in and we ended up leaving. Because whether or not she bandaged it or not, he had insisted she was not sticking her hand in a bowling ball. We piled back in the car and I listened to them argue about what we were going to do. We ended up going to diner at this casual italian place. And dinner was fine, until it was time for them to argue about who was going to pay. The arguement spilled out into the car. Then off to the video store....where you guessed it...more fighting. We ended up getting Closer, Final Cut, and Meet the Fockers. We stopped and checked out the new apartment they are going to be moving into, and I was instantly jealous. So much, that I couldn't keep it secert. It is FANTASTIC!! It's over this bakery downtown, which in addition to being warm (their current place is always chilly because the radiator is in one room...with no heating vents in other rooms.), it always smells great. It has all these interesting angles...and it's just wonderful. Well, then PS went downstairs because the landlord was downstairs and he wanted to go talk to him. Well, by the time PS got back to the car, the rent had gone up a little...you guessed it more fighting. Get to the house, still fighting. PS storms out and comes back a short time later, they go into the bedroom to talk and I guess they are still moving. All the arguing was very tiring. And then I got home, all I heard about all night was How good Anthony did last night. I rushed home because I set the VCR and the #$%!*&^ tape, which was programmed for the right time, didn't start taping until after Constantine!!! I completely missed my Anthony. But from watching the recap, I think Constantine or Carrie will be leaving this week.

Which leaves me at the fact that I know at the end of May, MM & PS current apartment will be empty June 1st. It has it's problems. The bathroom is TINY! It's the size of my closet no kidding. Like when you are ...doing your thing...you can reach and touch the wall and not have to strech any.... There is no place to store any extra towels, there is no room for anything resembling a makeup case (and I have two small 'train cases'), I can't see 2 peoples hair products fitting in there. Let alone towels for two people. There is only one heat source in the house. It's in the living room and doesn't heat the bedrooms (which are smallish) well, or at all if you happen to shut the bedroom door. There are no rain gutters, so the rain off the roof has completely rotted the back step out. And don't even get me started on the nieghbors (who are moving in October). Parking is an issue. MM and PS have small cars, there would be 2 full size cars parking in a spot previously occupied by 2 small cars in a shared spot with 2 other cars. In it's defense, the rent is $350 for a 2 bedroom. But is it worth it?

Sometimes, You Just Need To Cry...

I am a bit down tonight. I am driving home alone in the snow and one of the 2 saddest songs in the world comes on and I just start to cry. Maybe it's what I needed, although, I still don't feel a bit better.

Matchbox Twenty has the ability to take a sad song and find the soul of it's heart ache. If you have ever heard either Rest Stop or Hang, you know what I mean. Take a look at the lyrics if you will, but the mood of the song really conveys the emotion of sadness. Download it/them today.

I am going to watch AI now, because I guess I missed a good one.

Before You Die, You See The Ring...

Ok, As I was leaving Meox Mix and Prof. Snape's place, I heard the slight tinkling of a bell, almost like a dog's collar. Looking around and seeing no dog or any living creature, I got spooked and sprinted (scurried more like) to the car and immediately locked the doors. Upon arriving at home, I heard the same noise.

Well in The Ring, before you die..you see The Ring. Maybe, it was my death omen. Well, it's doubtful, but spooky none the less.

Now just keep this in mind if I actually do die tonight.

The Best Laid Plans...

Are often ruined by your mother coming home sick from work.

I was so very relaxed until I heard my phone ring. And thanks to specialized ringtones, I knew who was calling long before I looked at the caller ID. She had some things she needed my help with. So ok, no problem. I ran with her and took her cell phone payment, picked up her lunch, went to the grocery store, came home, put away the groceries, took her her lunch, got her a soda, took care of the lunch she packed that wasn't any good now that she was home...etc. And soon it will be time for me to make dinner using the newly purchased groceries. I know it doesn't seem like much, but you do one thing, sit down, and then she asks you to do another. So it's really 50 little things streched out that all together might only take 10 minutes.

Such is the life lived at home. Thankfully, Prof. Snape may come rescue me before I have to make dinner.

A Case Of The Mondays...

If you ever saw Office Space, you understand what I mean.

My day was perfectly fine, until I got to the office. Then little started going wrong. Like I got here and because of Sociable and Chicken in a Biscuit, the morning had not gone smoothly. Sociable is not the best person to work with most days, because she has generally no personality and nothing nice to say. Just a bitch. And well, Chicken, let's just say ... Prozac is her friend. She is in la-la land like 90% of the time. Evidently, between the 2 of the them they still could not form one normal person. So everyone seemed truly delighted to see me.

Well, I balanced my drawer at noon. And the sign of a great day is you balance out. Well, by 1:30, I had cocked that all up. Well, anytime you have $50 or more in cash variances, you must get a supervisor to audit you (joy of joys) and approve your offsetting transaction to get your drawer to balance out. So I was supposed to go to lunch at 1, here it is 1:45...Lunches never run on time when you are hungry...Something always goes wrong. So I am needing someone of authority to look at my drawer...And I can find no one. Finally at 2:15, I got someone over to help me and was on my way to lunch by 2:30.

I am just excited to be leaving the building, super hungry...and I get stuck waiting on the train that is at a dead stop on the tracks. Just as I consider throwing the car in reverse and turning around....4 people pull up and box me in. 10 minutes slowly ticked by...and when it's your time....it goes by at warp speed. (if that makes any sense). I get home (finally), throw my soup in the microwave, put the dogs out, go to get the crackers...there are none. Now I am just annoyed. Soup and no crackers?!?!? Alright, now I thinking people are just fucking with me. I got to take a spoonful of soup, and there must have been an air bubble...because hot soup splattered me in the face, burning me a little by my eyebrow. I am suddenly not hungry.

I get back to work and attack the lovely task of calling all the customers who got cash back today. First of all, you feel like a complete moron calling them. The teller from the bank that waited on you calls and asks you to verify your cash back, your first instinct is to ask if there is a problem. Well, I of course can not answer that question. I can't have you not answering honestly. So the convo went like this.

Me: "Is Mr. Smith there?"
You: "This is"
M: "This is (insert teller name), from (insert your bank). I waited on you today and I was just calling to see if you verified your cash back you recieved today."
Y: "Oh, is there a problem?"
M: "Oh, no...we are just randomly making customer service calls today, and your name happened to be pulled."

etc...

You would be surprised how many people are careless with their money...either they don't know how much they were to have gotten back...or they just throw it in their purse or wallet/toss it on the car seat and think nothing of it. Here's a tip...we are only human...check your cash back.

So, that's the story of my day. I have the beer in the fridge waiting for me at home...I am off tomorrow, so I am going home to get drunk alone. How sad is that?

Isn't That Something...

Saturday I got a 'Dear Applicant' letter. I knew there was a chance that I was going to get that letter. Actually I kind of expected it. But they came after me so fast and aggressive that I thought I had a real shot. Oh well, right? Poop happens!

It's Prom Season...

I saw Naked Neighbors kids outside last evening taking prom pictures. It made me sad. Fat girls with no friends, don't get asked to the prom.

A Sunday In The Life Of...

Slept all the way until 8 this morning.

Watched Fever Pitch (2 out of 5 stars), It was a little terrible. Let's be thankful we Americanized this one. The ending was good thou.

Went shopping in Wausau today. I am going for 4 weekends in a row. Who wants to go next week? I went to Target and got some cutesy plastic martini glasses, a couple of Hello Kitty air fresheners, and a suede steering wheel cover. Target has this whole line of gourmet dog treats and 'designer' accesories for your 4 legged friend. TOO CUTE!!! At Hot Topic, I got 3 pairs of earrings for under $7. I then traveled over to Lane Bryant, to use my super cool coupon. The one shirt I had wanted, of course they didn't have in my size, but I got a good deal on a couple of tops. I then headed down the parking lot to TJMaxx, and got this yellow handbag that is so ugly it's adorable. I just LOVE IT! My final stop of the day was at Gordmans. I think I found a new heaven. I got a Tommy Hilfiger purse for $15! Yes, I have purse issues. I am probably up to 60 by now.

Overall not a bad day. Was a good oppourtunity to see how my car would run on the highway. Seems to be getting pretty good mileage.

A Day In The Life Of...

Out of bed by 9ish...Maybe 10...I don't really remember.

Shower by 11:30.

Off the Wal-mart by 12:15ish. Bad Idea. Wal-mart on a Saturday afternoon. What was I thinking. 45 minutes later I emerged with my two items (3-way light bulb and an extension cord).

Change clothes. Off to clean the corrosion of my battery posts. quite fun if you ask me (S). I kept getting unsavory dust in my mouth due to the fact that it's quite windy, and I would frequently open said mouth to ask questions. Not so fun, but needed to be done.

After another wardobe change, I finished watching Season 7 of Friends, which I just bought on Thursday. 3 more and I have the whole show. I love that show.

Worked on my vacation scrap book for a little bit...got quite alot done.

Ate a rather untasty dinner.

Watched Kiss the Girls (2.5 out of 5 stars...seen better but seen worse)with Morgan Freeman and Ashley Judd (horrible with long hair).

Now I am going to watch the orginal Fever Pitch. Based on the book by Nick Hornby. He is easily my favorite British author. Did you know he wrote the book High Fidelity is based on? And About A Boy? Althou, I imagine HF is probably the 1st movie that was shot in the lovely UK with British actors and then later Americanized.

Off I go, because I no longer have an urge to be in front of my computer.

Pray For The Soul Of Betty...

Not just your average prayer request. Constantine's back-up if this whole American Idol heartthrob thing falls through

My New Word...

And now to prove it's a word, I will use it in a sentence.

My mother's on-set (on set?) of the Asian Bird Flu or whatever deadly virus she has this week, has shattered the sereneness I had hoped for my Saturday off.

Instead of lesuirely working on my scrapping project, everytime I go to sit down I will must assuredly by summoned to cater to her every need. Because she is after all sick.

Show me a day she's healthy and then we will talk shocking.

Who Wants To...

See The Interpreter with me?

Something About Wisconsin...

It was 80 on Monday.

Well, today is Friday. It's snowing

You've Got Red On You...

I was just looking for a way to say that today. But this is more of a kick-you-in-the-crotch-spit-on-your-neck-fantastic* kind of post.

They put this new incentive program into place at work. It's based on a points system. Get 12 points pay-out doubles. Well, I was pissed/excited that I had 11 points for March. Hey, that's $30 in my pocket. Paycheck comes today, no incentive payout.

Turns out the fine print states that I must have one closed referral for the month....and I did not.
Rats, Foiled Again!

*bonus points for knowing what show I just referenced.

Pick-Up Line Of The Week...

Is that a ladder in your pocket or my stairway to heaven?

Tasty Goodness...

Domino's All American Classic Cheeseburger Pizza. Strangely good.

Now I Have The Heebie-Jeebies...

I just pulled a spider out of my hair. My skin is crawling now.

I Am Being Watched...

Yesterday, when I went to put the dogs out the strangest thing happened. The Naked Neighbor opened the side door facing my house, waited until I put the dog out and went back inside when I did. It's like they were waiting for me. Watching me. Now I won't deny that I have a routine. I am very predictable. But there's a history with Naked Neighbor(s).

One morning not to long ago, I was putting the pooches out and I happened to look up to see Mr. Naked Neighbor standing the naked drinking his morning coffee. Stunned, I stood there for a second and he waved. Sheepishly I waved back, not knowing what the naked protocol is exactly. Well, this happened 3 more times that week and on and off since then. I have also seen Mrs. Naked Neighbor topless wandering through her dinning room. I dislike the fact that most of their windows face our house. I have considered setting up a webcam and having the naked neighbor contest (see how can spot the neighbor first).

So now, I think I have Naked Stalkers.

How In The Hell Does That Work...

How do you get dehydrated in the bathtub? This story is quite funny to me.

But then again, I have never been trapped in a bathtub.

Idol Thoughts...

Carrie is really down to earth...but she is not on her game.

My votes lay with Anthony still.

Entertainment Buzzings...

Music from Another Room and Rob Thomas.

MFAR: Fluffy girl goodness. But I didn't cry. The concept of a young child sticking his hands into the uterus of a woman in labor thou, almost made me cry. Watch it, and you will understand.

RT: Duh, it's Rob...hottie from Matchbox Twenty. Just go get it. First CD I have purchased in well over a year.

Am I Jinxed...

So I am sitting in Dessa, listening to the brand spanking new Rob Thomas CD (yes that's right...music in my car) while cleaning her up (boys are so dirty), and suddenly *ding* check gauges. I almost died when I saw that my engine was overheated.

Thankfully, it was just a blown fuse. And I might not have been able to figure out what the problem was, or find the fuse at AutoZone....but gosh darn it....I fixed it.

Granted, I only changed a fuse....but I did it.

Required Reading

Head on over to cheekymoo's blog. I hate Star Wars, but I LOVED this.

Late Lunch Excuse #5

I got a car....enough said

Movie Mumblings...

Yesterday, I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's and Philadelphia.

BAT: Girly goodness. I love Audrey Hepburn. She seems so effortless. I picture this to be the birth of the chick flick. Boy meets Girl, Girl doesn't notice Boys affections, Girl gets herself and Boy arrested, Boy confesses true love, Girl runs aways scared, Girl comes back to Boy and professes love. Pretty standard.

Philly: This was far more moving then I expected. Tom Hanks was just awesome. For a second or two, I totally believed he was dying for this terrible disease. Fantastic work. Worth every Oscar nod it earned.

If I get up right now, I can watch Music From Another Room, before Las Vegas comes on.

The Happy Blogger Dance

*busts a move*

I am one happy blogger. Not only did I get the loan check and I can go pick up my car tomorrow. But I might have sold the Honda!!!!

*dances gleefully to Hammer Time* lol

What Happened...

Last night, I shut the TV off and promptly fell asleep the minute Weekend Update was over. I woke up a mere 12 hours later. I slept thru a ringing cell phone. How did that happen? I never sleep more then 6 hours!! I am a little peeved...

And btw, I am so over Beck. I couldn't bear to watch him last night. Ick.

Just A Typical Saturday...

Resentment...Check. Shopping...Check. Movie...Check

Annie and I went to Wausau today. I was resentful at first to watch someone else shop, as I am exceedingly low on funds this week. I now officially have $2 to my name. Nice huh? I ended up bringing home a new cd caddy for the visior of the car I don't yet have. As well as Hello Kitty air fresheners for said car as well. Oh, and socks with little yellow baby chicks standing on a flame that say hot chick. I am just too cute for words.

Twisted: I love Ashley Judd. Out of 5 stars, I am going to go 2.5. I had trouble not reading my book while this movie was on.

I have also watched 85% of SNL's The Best of Jimmy Fallon. *sighs* I love him! I have giggled my head off thus far. Tonight I am going to finish Jimmy off...(sounds dirty), and watch Breakfast at Tiffany's hopefully just in time for SNL!

Like A Chicken With It's Head Cut Off...

Thanks to Blogger buddy Mark, I came across this frighteningly interesting story.

http://www.miketheheadlesschicken.org/story.html

Blogging At A Glance...

You can never know where you are going until you know where you came from...

http://whatsyourstory.msn.com/article.aspx?aid=1&src=Self

It's Thursday...

It's Thursday on Friday. It wa pointed out to me by a fan, that there was no pick up line Thursday. So here ya go...

Wanna go 50/50 on a rape charge with me?

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait...

Unless you are talking about the last good doughnut.

I was visually stalking this cherry-glazed looking doughtnut ... When I finally broke down to get it.... IT WAS GONE. I swear, it was there a minute ago.

It's a Girl...

http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/nation/3135982

I used to want to be a Marine Biologist.....so this interests me.

What Would You Do...

If you found out that a friend's relationship was going sour, and they were the only one who didn't know?

While dining out with Squidward (figure that one out, digitalicat) and Meow Mix, I came across the information that Annie's 'boyfriend', Andy, doesn't dig her at all.

Annie thinks it's going well.

The Most Annoying Sound On Earth...

The fire alarms went off today. We all froze in utter fear. Turns out the guys re-finishing the desktops were using an incorrect drill bit and it was causing quite a bit of smoke. Nice, Assholes.

Things You May Or May Not Know...

I AM: Always changing my mind about who I think I am
I WILL ALWAYS: Hide
I MISS: The way things were
I SMELL: Like coconuts, most days
I CRAVE: Acceptance
I WORRY: That I Will Disappoint Myself
I REGRET: Not taking the chances that have passed me by
I LOVE: Dasies
I DANCE: When I'm Alone
I SING: Along with the radio and sometimes don't even know I am doing it. (like at work)
I CANT STAND: People who let themselves be taken advantage of and complain about it later
I LOST: My Confidence
I LIKE: People Needing Me, My Opinion Or My Support
I LISTEN: Only about 95% of the time
I CAN BE FOUND: At work
I NEED: It All...It's All Or Nothing
I KNOW THAT: I am too hard on myself
I HOPE: That I can be a person someone looks up too someday
I WANT: To Be Needed
I AM ALWAYS: Breathing
I CRY: More then you would think
I FEEL: Overwhelmed
I WILL: Live
I WONT: Give Up
I THINK: I am funnier then I really am
I SHOULD: Have more faith in myself
I COULD: Let my fear of failure cripple me
I WOULD: Fall For Someone, if given the chance
I DIDNT: Become the person I had hoped I would
I LOOK: At everything a second time before passing judgement
I HEAR:Everything
I HURT: Myself Too Much
I HATE: My Lack Of Openess with myself
I FEAR: Storms and Failure
I DONT: Do Enough For Me
I FEEL: Lost
I CARE: Alot More Than It Seems
I AM ALWAYS TRYING TO: To keep from going under
I WRITE: Alot on this page
I PLAY: Enough to keep me young
I LEARN: A new life lesson everyday
I WILL BE: Remembered
I SAY: 'Sweet'...way to much
I DONT THINK: I Am Girlfriend Material
I LOVE TO: Dream
I ALWAYS: Have my cell phone turned on
I HAVE: Few Close Friends
I BELIEVE: In Fate
I AM: More Than I Seem
I NEVER: Open Up to myself
I WISH: That I could be there for you more

OMG, This Is Complete Crap...

http://www3.state.id.us/oasis/HCR029.html#billtext

I liked the movie too....BUT COME ON! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

but vote for pedro anyway.

The Dark Side of Mail...

So, I get this very nice linen like envelople today with the interoffice mail. We got all excited since more then one of us got them, prephaps it was an invitation to Monica's (from a northern office) wedding. Excitedly, we tore into them. IT WAS A DAMN CHAIN LETTER.

And it's not like I wish bad luck on people, but I never send those things out. I mean too....But it never works out that way. So Saltine and I have created our own chain letter that you should all be receiving at your homes shortly. (see below).


To whom it may concern:

You have been sent this letter because you have a lot of friends. You must pass this letter on to 2000 people in the next 8 minutes to avoid a horrible accident! Some that did not pass this on include:

Mary Alice Snodgrass, 84, of Amarillo, TX:
Mary Alice had just sprayed her oven with Easy-Off when she heard that the mailman had come. Upon reading her mail, she got this letter and thought nothing of it.
She began to get her bingo kit ready when something had startled her and she fell over. Upon falling, Mary Alice had hit her head on the open oven door, knocking her unconscious. Her body was found 3 days later by her gay son, Skip. Cause of death was the fumes from the Easy-Off.

Nipsy Jones, 17, of Hooterville, WY:
Nipsy had gotten this letter earlier in the day and thought nothing of it. While at work, during the middle of her Pole Dance routine, Nipsy fell off stage and was stabbed through the heart by a drink straw. By the time paramedics responded to the call, all they could remove was the lemon slice that was attached to the straw.

Dick Wiener, 96, of Sunnyvale, Ca:
Dick had received this letter and thought nothing of it. He was on a "Seniors Trip" with the Happy Ending Nursing Home, going to the Hillshire Farm Factory. While in the casing room, Dick, who had been clacking his dentures, had lost his dentures and had some lower extremities tubed. Because he was on Blood thinners; no amount of sausage could stuff the open wounds.

Juanita Watkins, 18, of Bridge Overpass (Hwy 82, third box from the left):
Juanita found this letter and thought nothing of it. While walking one of her 11 children to "Lucky’s" crack shack (6 boxes to the right), Junaita was hoping to barter some food stamps for some of "Lucky’s" famous garbage flame chicken. While at Lucky’s, Juanita
got a little too close to that open fire. The flames connected with the poor girls’ Jhericurl and POOF! All that didn’t burn were her Dollar Tree extensions.

So you see, if they had THOUGHT SOMETHING of this letter, perhaps utter disaster could have been avoided. Please do not be a Dick (Wiener) and pass this on.

Add your name to the bottom of this letter and forward to 2000 people immediately within the next 8 minutes.

and to think....I almost called in today

It's Not Contagious...

Despite what digitalicat will have you believe, my mexican foot disease is not so much a disease or a disablity (unless I can get a government check, then it is). My feet look like feet. And I have no extra toes, or extra long toes for that matter. Just a missing toe joint.

What Is That Smell...

And it's not MrsGiggles office either.

The downside to having a station by the drive up and a ventilation system is this. First today, I smelled charcoal fluid. Now, I smell burnt marshmallows. Both smells I like, but when you can't avoid them...it's nauseating.

Now Taking Applications...

For "D" names. I will be purchasing a '93 Dodge Dynasty here pretty soon.

Pretty pimp for a granny car if you ask me.

Next On Fox...

American Idol Weddings!!!

Kiki and I are marrying Constantine and Anthony. (That's if she can beat mrsgiggles to it).

That Lying Ho...

So here I am defending Britney, and the lying ho goes and tells the world she's pregnant. I outta beat that cracka down.

But I would never hit a pregnant woman

Into His Hand I Commend Her Spirit...

Well, Heather Honda is just gasping at life, barely.

Today when I went out to the car, she tried harder then ever to start...She wanted to and put up a good fight. I just kept watching her idleometer (yes, I know the tachometer) drop lower and lower and lower. I shut it off before it got all the way to the point it stalled. I have driven this car with it's gas leaks, bad exhaust, unreliable altenators, everything. Today, I decided to lay her to rest.

Peace be with your soul, Heather. A memorial is being established in her name, please email me for information to send donations. Services will be help after the death certificate is signed.

So, anyone want to by a new altenator? Honda included!

Summon The Priest...

Heather has developed what I have (grits teeth) lovingly began to refer to as a death rattle. When I turn on the car, the engine starts to chug a little bit. It evens itself out, but then a block or two down the road and it's like the idle drops way low and almost wants to die. One day it's going to die. I had a problem getting the car to shift the other day and I didn't think anything of it. Well, now it accelerates for poop.

I tonight checked the oil and it was shockingly low. After a lot of looking, I (my step dad) was able to find the dipstick for the transmission fluid. And low and behold, it was really low.

I am hoping that maybe the idle thing is like a spark plug or something. I am just so sick of dealing with it. I am looking for a new car.

Pop Culture Ponderings...

Today I got thinking Britney and Kevin. Did you hear they are getting their own reality show? UPN picked them up. I find this entertaining. You know you are end the end of your ghetto rope when MTV won't touch your reality series.

Speaking of the Brit, by now you know that the paper (Did you ever see, So I Married An Axe Murderer? Well my paper is Us Weekly. A very reliable source) and several other have reported that the Britster is offically pregnant. Now while, I do see Mrs. Feredline plumping up a little bit, I actually believe her when she claims that she is not pregnant. She just got married. All brides fill in a little bit whilest wallowing in post martial bliss.

And while I am thinking about it, my mind wonders to Angelina and Brad, Reese and Ryan and Demi and Ashton. Alright, first things first.

What is Brad thinking????? I don't care if she's the fucking Goodwill Ambassador to Pluto. That girl is straight up nasty. I am all dirty just thinking about her...and not in a good way.

In my mind, Reese and Ryan have occupied the spot once spitspefically (yes, that's a new word I just made up) reserved for Brad and Jen. Ryan has been seen minus Reese all over the world in questionable situations. What is wrong with him too? And let me say this, I think Reese Witherspoon is adorable. If I had to pick one celebrity chick, to well...you know, it would be her. She's beautiful.

Demi and Ashton's love baby, that's misgusting. (my nephew taught me that word awhile ago, I like it). Maybe it's the greatest punk of all on Ashton. Getting him all prepped for fatherhood (I shudder at the thought), only for a camera crew to come rushing into the birthing suite. LOL!

Owwie...

So I walked again yesterday. I walked to the post and back. My hill is a bitch, but less bitchy day 2. I figure it's probably like a mile and a half there and back. But DAMN DO MY SHINS HURT!!!

(Is the shin the front part of the leg or is that technically the calve?)

Oops, I Did It Again...

I went shopping today. And of course, I spent too much.

But I had a coupon and it was on sale. So that makes it ok, right?

Movie Mumblings...

The Forgotten: Good, but there were alot of unanswered questions for this cracker. But good none the less.

Fever Pitch: Do you think Jimmy Fallon would marry me if I asked him nice enough? He's not the best looking guy, but let me tell you he has a personality that you can't help but adore him. I still don't like Drew Barrymore, but it was a really cute movie. I was even rooting for the Sox in the end, And I know they win! Totally Chick Flick. Girls are going to dig it!

The Anatomy Of A Cracker...*

The following may be offensive to some, it's not meant to be....I am just a stupid white girl.

For years now, the African has referred to the white man as 'the cracker'. So Saltine and I began to ponder the origin. Is the black man bitter because there are no black Kebbler elves? Why they hating? And this got us thinking about the low-carb carze. How many carbs are in a cracker?

Well, with too much time on our hands at work we have discovered our inner crackerness by assigning ourselves cracker names. I am Ritz. I work with Saltine, Club, Chicken in a Biscuit, Sociable, Triscuit, Wheat Thin, Townhouse, and Rye Crisp (wtf).

I am pretty sure that I am going to get capped by saying stuff like this. But here's how I see it, the good die young, right? I have nothing to worry about!

*Additional thoughts contributed by Saltine.

But I Bet You Didn't Know This...

Everyone knows a little bit of Paris Hilton's tabloid fodder. Her Sidekick got hacked, not once but twice. Tinkerbell went missing (I still think he was actually escaping). She stole her own adult video. She is just a wealth of entertainment. Well, here's the latest.

She is trying to trademark the phrase That's Hot. So how exactly does that work? Everytime you say That's Hot, you send her a check for a nickel? Do you have to say the two words together? Can you get a discount for saying it in bulk? Or do you just pay a one time charge? Or it like advertising? Spend $10 and get the whole year? Do you have to say it in context? What if i burn myself? I mockingly say it alot. I just want to know how to get the best deal.


Can you trademark indivdual words? I think I might try for cootch if that's the case.

I Can Feel That...

I started walking today. I got done at 3:30 today and when I got home I made the choice to walk my deposit to the credit union instead of driving. It was a good walk, but my hill is a bitch. I can really feel it in the back of my legs right now.

The End Of A Story...Maybe...

So to end out the swimsuit story, I got my refund for the second one today. So all is resolved.

My little secert...I hate this new suit. I have no urge to shop for another after this one.

I Brokedown...

Tonight, I brokedown and bought a DVD player. When S was over the other night and we were trying to watch movies, the dvd side of my combo wouldn't read most of my disks. But when I put a Friends disk in, it played just fine.

Maybe thats it. Maybe my dvd player can only read Friends disks. It's destiny!

I Pulled A MrsGiggles...

Went out for Friday Fish Fry. Accidently got drunk. As long as someone else is buying, the beer is flowing.

Isn't That What I Wanted...

I just found out today that Donna will be taking some time off work here soon for some minor surgery. She is expected to be gone 8 weeks. They are going to be offering The Grinch and I more hours.

This makes me sad. I am kind of enjoying working shorter days. But I will be thankful for it when I run out of unemployment.

Idle Thoughts...

So ok, I love Anthony. But how he and Scott are still there, blows my mind. My favorites are Constantine, Anthony, Nadia, and Carrie. I would really like to see someone I actually like win this year. Hasn't happened since Kelly.

creepy sidenote...Scott reminds me of the little brother. Assuming the little brother shaved and bathed.

Addt'l Banking Tips...

5. Staples are forbidden.

She Hates Me...

And yes...I know I post alot.

I got gas today, so you know what that means. Heather must think I am rich. Little puddle again today.

**UPDATE** Heather is on her way out. The doctor (who is on speed dial now) says she's not worth fixing. I have started the process of taking a loan out against my 401(k). I didn't really need to retire anyways, right?

Tips From Your Friendly Banking Staff...

1. Give us the courtsey of not talking on your cellphone while we are waiting on you.
2. Learn to fill out your own slips. We are happy to help. But despise doing it for people who just refuse to learn how. Takes just a few seconds, I promise.
3. Mints!
4. Soap.

I Swear, It's Not Ok...

It's not ok for big women to not wear bras, and it's not ok to wear sweatpants in place of actual pants.

It's Thursday...

Time for *in big scary space voice*....PICK UP LINE OF THE WEEK!

Fuck me if I am wrong, but have we met?

Meet Kiki...

Kiki has crossed over.

http://www.girloftheshots.blogspot.com

Continued Movie Ramblings...

Last night, I was too tired to talk about the other movies I saw. Watched Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason and Poolhall Junkies.

Bridget Jones: I just love the Bridget movies. I hate Renee Z, but adore those movies. S even laughed more then I expected. I have just never had a boy say it was ok to watch a chick flick.

PHJ: SEE THIS MOVIE!!! I dig it alot! I have seen it a thousand time, has gapping plot holes but cool.

Short and Sweet Is The Way To Be...

Tired Girl. Friend left a short time ago and I need sleep.

Interview ok. I got no feeling from it at all. The test bit ass thou. I could never survive elementary math again. Guess we will have to see what happens.

ftr...I am the only person to get lost in Tomahawk.

Movie Rehash...

Saw Sin City. Visually very, very cool. I loved the whole monochromatic color scheme with random color where you don't expect it. Terrific show of violence, but done within context of the script. Long. And who knew the hobbit kid could be so damn creepy. And I can look at Josh Harnett again without cringing. Laughable irony.

If you liked Kill Bill, you'll dig it.

Who Is That Girl...

MrsGiggles called tonight 1/2 through Taking Lives to wish me good luck on the upcoming interview. She was surprised to hear that I had no idea what I was wearing. Normally, I have every little detail of things like this planned out. It's most unusual for me to feel unprepared.

I don't think it's that I don't care...I would like to think I am trying not to hype it up in my head. Because so often with me, interviews are just exactly that. Interviews. Nothing ever pans out. Most times I just get the "Thank you for your application..." letter.

Well, the clothing situation is sorted out. I am wearing my black suit.

2.5 of of 5 stars...

Tonight, I watched Taking Lives. I hate Angelina Jolie. Loathe. I mean after all, I am still recovering from the whole Brad and Jen thing. Anyway, the movie. I LOVE Ethan Hawke. *shudders a little* I love it when he plays a bad guy. I could have lived without seeing him holding his mother's head in his hands, but what can ya do. We have all had those days. Oh, yes....the movie. Eh. Could have lived without it...but a serious creep out factor thanks to Mr. Hawke.

It's Finally Happening...

I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW!!!!

Countless resumes later, I finally got a call. The competing financial institution sent me an application. I mailed it out on Saturday, I got the call Monday. DAMN! They didn't waste anytime.

So in less then a week, I will have applied and interviewed for the job. I am soooooo excited!!!

I Feel Like THAT Guy...

Ever see Shaun of the Dead? Well, the movie starts out with Shawn, barely existing. Simply going through the motions of everyday life. Stopping at the shop over the road, the bus ride to work, all while not notice that his sleepy little town is being over run by zombies. It's quite funny. But I feel like that guy. Completing my morning routine, not really caring about anything else, because I am so damn tired.

Got up this morning and something is messed up with our water. There's a note on the table telling me to not shut the water off under any circumstance, the toilet water is black, when I flushed it...I thought it was coming after me. When I turned the shower on...It too tried to attack me. I was too tired to figure this out in my sleepy, weakened state (remember Ferris Bueller?), so I figured since that it's mostly my mother's fault that I am so damn tired. I would wake her up and have her tell me wtf is going on.

In addition, I did the daily, should I call in questionnaire. Today, I think I might have out of exhaustion.

So Not The Drama...

Growing up, my mother and I were imfamous for our knock-down-drag-out fights. Tonight it wasn't me.

Today was Annie's last day of work at Wal-Mart, and Annie was my mother's supervisor. I guess for sometime now, Annie and my mom have locked horns at work. Tonight we were all hanging out at K & E's house, Annie and I made a quick stop to the house to shut the windows I left open and grab some movies. As we were coming in the door, Annie and Mom traded some seemingly hostile banter. I didn't think much of it and proceeded up the stairs. By the time, I reached the top of the stairs...They were screaming at each other. By the time, I had returned to the top of the stairs, Annie had been thrown out and was standing in my driveway crying.

I am still not entirely sure what's happened. I just keep being told that it's not my concern. THE HELL IT ISN'T! One of my best friends and my mother....Seems to be something I would want to know what's going on.

Well, the end result is Annie isn't welcome here, but she is I guess. According to my mother, I pay for my space here and she can't very well tell me who I can and can't have over. But Annie isn't welcome to sit at her dinner table, partake in small talk or sit on her couch. And of course, Annie isn't very well going to come where she feels unwelcome.

So now what? I just want to cry. It's hard not knowing what to do. I don't want to be here, but at 2.39 a gallon...I can't really drive around.

And I have to get up at 6 and it's 2...So I should try to sleep.

It's A Sad Day...

Out of respect for the passing of a religious icon, I will try to shy away from the insanely silly.

I am not Catholic, I am barely Lutheran most days. That not withstanding, Pope John Paul II was a good man (despite the fact that I disagree with what his religion (or any religion) believes to be right or wrong). He brought hope to people all over the world.

May his soul find peace in his heaven.

It's A Sign The Seasons...

Every year like clockwork, you can plot out the season by the plastic on my house. Every fall, my step-dad diligently covers EVERY single inch of our house in plastic.

The first sign of spring for most people, is the robin, or buds on the tree...

Today the plastic came off the porch door!

I am the happiest girl in the world!

I Don't Believe In Signs...

Well, ok maybe I do....but not in this case.

I have had 4 mentions in 24 hours about me being either married/engaged/or in a serious relationship. While, at first I found it entertaining, I am now getting freaked out.

Kiki and Donna at work have now started to track these kinds of things, to see if there is any relevance.

*names have been changed to protect the less then innocent