So if any of you have been following along at home, it seems I have been going to incredible lenghts to not be at home. I don't think I am really digging living alone. It's been almost 2 months.
I was so excited to get my own place and prove to everyone, that I am in fact a grown up and could live on my own.
Well, I did it and can do it. Wish I liked it.
I do love my alone time. But I am also comforted by knowing that if I don't want to be alone, I don't have to be. I am considering going back into a roommate situation, but I don't know many details yet.
In other news, I feel trapped by my own insecurities. I have to wonder if I am always going to be that girl. You know, that one. "Oh, that's Nina's friend. Oh, she's here with Josh. There's that girl that Mel hangs out with. Isn't she friends with..." I feel like that girl lately. And I kind of feel disrespected by that. I know I am new to most of the crowd that I am hanging out with, but it still bothers me.
But I just have to remind myself, how lucky I am. I am surrounded everyday by amazing people that remind me how much love there really is around me.
"It's alright, I'll be fine, don't worry about this heart of mine..." those are lyrics that just came out of my tv. I should keep that in mind.
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2 comments:
Add the two of these together and consider the possibility that you need to be alone for a while. Maybe you need time to find and refine your own identity.
I agree with Joe. If you don't want to be "that girl" being alone is the first step in the right direction to establish the base of who you are, get comfortable in your own skin, and live your life celebrating you and the things you've found out about yourself. It's not easy, but you'll feel a great sense of pride, accomplishment, and well-being when you've overcome your insecurities.
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