But anyway, what is that bitch's problem? I mean, this dude stood by her for 40 years and suddenly now, he's not good enough? He was there when she wanted to pursue her path to career enlightenment. And let's be serious, this bitch changes jobs more then a welfare momma.
For example:
- Stewardess
- Pilot
- Fast Food
- Doctor
- Actress
- Race Car Driver
- Pop star
- Princess
- Teacher
- Super Hero
- Marine
- Ballerina
And then it hit me.
ALL KEN DID WAS STAND BY HER SIDE WITH HIS TRUSTY SURFBOARD.
40 years. 40 years of his free loading ass standing around with that goddamn surfboard. I mean, ya, surfers can be hot. But for fuck's sake...Get a job. I guess it would be different, if you know, he was helping out around the house. But you know his type. His ass be at the beach every damn day with that stupid surfboard. Playing on the beach, macking on the sluts who also have no jobs. While Babs be busting ass working 9-5 to support his damn ass. And do you think his ass could be bothered to figure out where her shoe is. Girl done got a closet full of missing shoes. She got pumps in every color, but she only got one. Girl always seems to loose one of her shoes. So, you know, his ass could be helping a girl out there....But noooooo....He be at the beach. Making eyes with the high school girls who think he's all that because he's Ken and he's got his own car. Well, I bet he don't tell them that he didn't make a single payment on that little convertible. And I can just imagine he's talking about his house in Malibu...Again....Not his. Oh no. He be thinking he's the shit. When in fact it's Barb's hard working life that lets him keep waxing that damn surf board. I bet he doesn't even know how to surf. Just sits on the shore waxing the damn thing. His ass would be living in a box on the beach that he loves so much, if it weren't for Barbie.
So I guess I can understand why she left him. I probably wouldn't have waited 40 years to do it though.
And this is what I spent my morning thinking about. Before Courtney Love's face sprawled across my checkbook got me going.
14 comments:
Did you just bust into ebonics, mid-paragraph?
I was on a ghetto rant...leave me alone.
So being hot is not enough? I have to have a job, too? Oh, for fuck's sakes!
I know.....What IS my problem?
You are one bizarre young lady, but I loved this post, very funny. I do feel sorry for Ken tho!
I fully support juicy's right to ghetto rants. Rant on girl.
oh yeah, you're kinda weird:)
This is what happens when I have time on my hands, Gordy. Isn't it fantastic?
Am I the only one who noticed that Ken was in the closet. Maybe now amidst the new millenium, he felt strong enough to finally be who he really is. Yes...gay. You go Ken! You gutsy bastard!
This was presented to me several times actually. That maybe Ken left Barbie, because he in fact had a little something-something going on with G.I. Joe.
We have already written the Lifetime Movie.
We are casting Jude Law as Ken, Jake Gyllenhal as GI Joe, and Reese Witherspoon as Barbie.
juicy i actually have a song on cd about gi joe and ken..........i'll try to send it to you.
um, I was going to say something about your post, but I'm finding the Mark's animated gif to the right.. well, a big distracting and disturbing...
:P
Casey - Welcome. We all find Mark's GIF a little upsetting.
Wiggledick.
I love it! And I think I've said it 50 times! It makes me laugh every time! :-)
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