The Price Is Wrong, Bitch...

Gas went up 10 cents this morning. $2.84

NN1 just came over and said it's supposed to go up 30 cents tonight....hope she's wrong.

Will update you on my way to work in the morning.

Thanks Digi...

He and the Girlfriend donated a very cool thing to my house...

Thank God my older brother is here to make sure I don't go without...

It's Ugly Naked Guy Doing...

So last month my little brother, lets call him Neckred, gave me a Friends trivia game. Well, Annie, her boyfriend Mack and I cracked that bitch open Sunday night.

There's a charades portion of the game. I have never laughed so hard in my life as I did watching Mack impersonate Ugly Naked Guy doing the Thighmaster.

Back By Popular Demand...

And I shall forever more be your Juicy.

Dealing With The Aftermath...

Not quite the Katrina magnitude, but I encourage you to donate to the relief efforts, by clicking here. I live off ramen noodles and I did it.

The aftermath, I am thinking about is more of the party type.

1) Would the owner of the sole can on Michelob Golden that's in my yard please come get it? You are skunking up the place.

2) If you are the owner of a white bra, would you please stand up?

3) And if you are in possession of my slippers...I'd like them back.

Salt, So Your Life Always Has Flavor...

Turns out I can throw an alright party. 23 people showed up!! 23!! That's everyone I know, minus like 4. I think everyone had a nice time. I had a nice time watching all my friends together in one spot. That has never happened.

The jello shots were a big hit. So was the whipped topping...Kiki and I had a nice time with that. All I am going to stay about that is that we got a few very appreciative glances from the boys.

We partied like rock stars all the way until 11. LOL, with the exception of Squidward and myself everyone was passed out at 11. Squidward and I had a heart-to-heart over a bottle of Hypnotic, that went on into the early morning. I got to know a friend a little better last night.

We (which means me) recieved some very thoughtful gifts. I am truly a blessed person. Worth mentioning is the GINORMOUS box of liqour that Digi and The Girlfriend donated. We have a small liqour store now. There's some good stuff in there. Also, MM brought a very funny 'Friends' that made Annie and I snicker uncontrollably.

I totally got raped at a round of 'Fuck the Dealer'. I haven't played drinking games in a long time. Also played 'Tip Cup' for the 1st time. I hate (which means love) drinking games...I am so bad at them...I end up just hammered.

The night was not without it's drama's, but it was perfect. I wouldn't change a thing.

I Like It Rough...

So, last night MrsGiggles, Mister, and Digi and I headed out to our favorite local people watching location for a few dozen pitchers of beers.

After a few minutes, the beer was flowing and the darts were being tossed.

You know it's getting rough, when you break a nail shooting darts.

The Stage Is Set...

The house is clean, the burgers are thawing, the beer is chilling, the vodka is in the freezer, and the jello is ready for shots.

The guests will begin arriving in 8 hours....I can't wait!!!

Signs Of The Season...

The green of the tree are turning yellow. Which will lead to the beauty of the reds and oranges that make Fall so beautiful.

The sad thing is, winter is coming.

Seven Things...

Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1 Swim with the dolphins
2 Visit London
3 Be a Mom
4 Attend the Oscar's
5 And the Grammy's
6 Get married drunkenly in Vegas
7 Swim in the Pacific

Seven things you can do:
1 I make a mean Baked bean dish
2 Out drink the boys in a chugging contest (after all I am a Wisconsin Girl)
3 Do the dishes like nobody's business (I like a tidy house)
4 Remember every song, Ive ever heard...ever
5 I have a knack for details (acct #'s, phone #'s, birthdays, what color looks good on you...)
6 Pick up new skills quickly (I am a very fast learner)
7 Out of 1000 purses, I can find the one on clearance

Seven things you can't do:
1 Drive a manual-transmission
2 Skateboard
3 Ride a uni-cycle
4 Knit
5 Speak German
6 Wear Shorts
7 Ride an upside down roller-coaster

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex:
1 Eyes (dark, light, makes no matter as long as it's an intense color)
2 Charisma
3 An air of intelligence
4 Someone not tall
5 Glasses
6 Sense of Humor (I am going to laugh at you, you might as well be able to as well)
7 The tushy

Seven things you say most:
1 Totally
2 Dude
3 Sweet
4 Fuck a duck
5 I know! (Monica Gellar-Bing style)
6 How You Doin' (Joey Tribbiani style)
7 Rock On

Seven celebrity crushes:
1 Jude Law (despite his teeny weiny)
2 Colin Farrell
3 Brad Pitt
4 John Cusak
5 Hugh Grant
6 Gavin Rossdale
7 Keanu Reeves

Seven people you want to take this quiz:
1 Mark
2 MrsGiggles
3 Justin
4 Kiki
5 Meow Mixx
6 Crazed
7 LabBoy

My Dirty Little Secret...

Keeks and I were having a conversation the other day about how a video can change your perception to a song. You might have a song, see the video love it suddenly. Or vice versa.

This came true for me today with Papa Roach's video for 'Scars'. I alwasy wondered what the song that I liked so much was really all about. I never would have connected that song with alcoholism, but the video tells a compelling story.

I also so Fall Out Boy's 'Sugar, We're Going Down'. I now hate that song. Mariah's 'Shake It Off', suddenly loving her again. How 1995 of me.

And one song, I had not heard before. All American Rejects "Dirty Little Secrets". It was so cool. For all of you PostSecret fans out there (all of us), you are just going to love it. So check it out here and let me know how much you love it.

And I bet you thought this was going to be about my dirty little secrets...

Pick-Up Line Thursday...

I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.

That Wasn't So Bad...

Last night, I mowed my first lawn (this is where I say I will accept ONLY 5 lesbian jokes about lawn mowing, choose wisely). It wasn't bad at all.

My mommy always told me I would cut off a toe. She lied. I still have all 11 toes.

Ok, so I don't have 11, but I am from Wisconsin, so 9 is possible.

"Not Just Health Department Clean...

...Monica clean"

I have been cleaning my house for hours. I have guests coming this weekend and my house needs a face lift. Bad.

Now, it sparkles in spots. My bathroom, work of art. My kitchen floor has been this clean since the day we moved in. My back porch...clean. My living room was fantastic...and then Annie came home. I still have to finish the kitchen and my room.

So much to do...

Tomorrow, I am going to tackle those rooms and try and mow the lawn. Believe it or not, I have never touched a lawn mower. This should be interesting.

Movie Mumblings...

It was a busy movie weekend...Try to keep up.

MM and I watched Prozac Nation on Friday night. I love Christina Ricci and I love Elizabeth Wetzel. I did not love this. It seemed to ramble on without much point. I was so disappointed. It was just long and draggy, maybe there was just too much drama and what seemed like a sudden ending. It made me think about how many people I know who/have or had been on Prozac or something other. We really are a nation trapped by our pharmacy visits. They are like our dealers, what makes them any different then the kid on the corner?....But hey...that's not what this post is about.

Saturday NN1 and I watched Cadet Kelly. I love Hilary Duff. I do. I love her. She's sugar, spice and everything nice (but what's up with those teeth?).

Sunday S and his roommate came over and we watched Melvin Goes to Dinner, God, Sex and Apple Pie, and Empire Records.

MGTD: I loved it!!! I was raw, emotional, gritty, honesty and just plain good. I am a big indie film fan and this movie just re-enforced that belief.

GSAP: This movie just sucked.

Empire Records: This is like my favorite movie of all time. I just adore it. If I don't get this movie for my birthday, I am going to be devastated. I told my mom, but I will probably get a cookbook or something...

How Cool Is That...

So I was tooling around on Sitemeter this morning. Because I am at work, and it's my best blogging time.

I found the coolest thing ever.

Yours truly is mentioned in, like a for real article. I got the props for defending Jude's winky!!!

So, welcome Project DU readers....both of you...

And I hope he does replace Pierce Brosnan as James Bond (also mentioned in the article)...

Another Sad Song...

Everybody has got their's from one point in their life or another. My most recent one comes from work.

About 10 months ago, my employer added a new word to my vocabulary. Corporate Consolidation. I am sure if you look it up in good ole Webster, you will see the following description.

You're being downsized, you silly stupid girl.

Last October, we were told that our office was being closed and we were merging with our other office in town. No one was really too concerned at the time because we all had been there longer then anyone at the other office.

I worked in a small office with 3 other women. We were close, we had no choice. Our office was tiny and there was no way to not be in each other's space. We had to make it work.

Well, the next bomb they dropped on us, took all of us by surprise. One of us would be stepping down into part-time and one of us would not be returning after the 1st of the year. This was a heart breaking blow. The reality of being replaced after 3 1/2 years by people who hadn't been here even 6 months yet, was a hard truth to swallow.

We started the grueling task of re-applying for our jobs. If you haven't had the joy of this, count your blessings. The interview was worse. What do you say to make your self look better knowing that the more you say, the more you may possibly be taking from someone you know very well. How do you administer that blow and still sleep at night? Well, it turns out that none of us really did.

The end result of the interview process was that they could not in clear conscience let one of us go. They offered our two veterns their same positions, and myself and The Grinch were offered part-time positions. The downside to being offered a lesser position is that you aren't really being offered anything. It's a take-it-or-leave-it situation. You take what they are offering or leave.

Well, there aren't a whole lot of jobs here in Nowhere, what's a girl to do? I took my part-time offering with a resenting heart and a grain of salt. In my meeting, they did offer up one little ray of light. The magic word was Unemployment Compensation. They were not going to contest any claim that I made for lost hours.

I have been part-time now since January 1. Times have been tough, but I'm still living. I got to know a few people along they way and I am glad things turned out they way they did. I have been lucky along they way to benefit from other's misfortune (as bad as that sounds).

Back in May, one teller went on medical leave. I picked up hours to cover her slack. I was working almost 40 hours every week for 13 weeks. Then, our vault teller went on medical leave. Not only was I getting 40 hours, but I was filling in for her.

Life was good. And reality is a bitch.

September's schedule just came out. Wheat Thin pulled my aside to tell me that she is going to get me as close to 30 hours as she can. The expression that came across my face must have really been something. Because she was forced to remind me that 'after all, I am only part-time'.

Sometimes, I guess you just have to learn to take the goood with the bad.

I don't know why I felt compelled to tell you my story this morning. Maybe I just needed to get it off my chest.

Friday Feast...

Appetizer
Do you get excited when the season begins to change? Which season do you most look forward to?
I do. I live in an area where the season visually change and I love it. I love the winter-to-spring transistion.


Soup
What day of the week is usually your busiest?
Depends on the time of month, with social security and all. Typically Mondays

Salad
Would you consider yourself to be strict when it comes to grammar and spelling? What's an example of the worst error you've seen?
LOL, Have you read my blog??? I have no grasp of splleing and grammar.

Main Course
Who has a birthday coming up, and what will you give them as a gift?
Digi, he wants stuff...Prof Snape, he wants porn. But Digi's not getting stuff and PF isn't getting that basket of porn.

Dessert
If you could have any new piece of clothing for free, what would you pick?
I think I could use a new pair of jeans. Or a wedding dress for MM. OOOOO...a new purse....

WWKD...

So what happens when you are in love with your best friend and after a night of drinking wake-up naked next to him in his twin bed?

What happens when it's too awkward and no one can talk about it?

What would you do if it was you?

And it's not me. It's Kiki...

The Return of Something Great...

...Pick-Up Line Thursday!!!

Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.

I Love Her...

I read this joke on Justin's blog....Told it to Keeks and it took her a full 60 seconds to get it.

2 guys walk into a bar. The 3rd one ducks.

It's corny, but come on!!!! LOL, I love her!

Of Myths and Legends...

So as you have all heard by now, there are nude Jude Law pics out there.

I, in pursuit of Blogger truth and justice, selflessly sought these pictures out. Many were saying his nanny poking stick was somewhat of a disappointment.

Let me defend Mr. Law (well, because I love him). If you saw the Seinfeld episode with George's lil willy, you know about the shrinkage. Maybe it was a little chilly out. And it's like all much hyped things. Reality seldom ever lives up to what we expect.

And at any rate, I just don't care. He's pretty. I'd be his nanny anyday.

Back To The Vault...

Wheat Thin tells me I am starting back on vault duty tomorrow. This will be my second time now since my tragic failure. When I was doing it last week or so, I was thinking about how fun it actually was. It reminded me of when I failed my driver's test the 1st time around. Horribly, keep in mind. Crash and burn failure. MrsGiggles said after that, that has always kinda stuck with me.

I was feeling all sorry for myself for not passing my test. And she said, "Well, it's good that you got that out of the way." When I questioned her, she said something to the following effect.

"You fail everything the 1st time. Make every mistake there is to make. But when you pick yourself up and move on from it, your 2nd attempt is near perfect."

Well, sure enough, I passed that driver's test the 2nd time with not even 1/3 of the errors of the 1st time around.

I was thinking about that, when I was working in the vault this last time. It was a walk in the park. It's funny how the tables have turned. Wheat Thin now comes to me with vault questions and opinions. And she is going on vacation next week and thinks I should just take the vault right away tomorrow, so she just doesn't have to worry about it.

I'm pumped. My job may suck ass, but every once in a while there's a glimmer of hope that keeps me hanging on for more.

Althou, MrsGiggles hates it when I am in the vault. She feels neglected.

For Those Of You Following Along At Home...

$2.74 for cheapo unleaded.

My World Is Almost Right Again...

Kiki returns tomorrow. Now, If I could just get Saltine back, I'd have all 3 of my girls (MrsGiggles is my 3rd).

YAY!

Now, be nice to her....she just had wisdom teeth stuff done...

Crazy...

I am getting almost daily hits for...

"What Happened to Seal's Face"?

WTF!!!?!?!

That's How Lucky I Am...

It's beautiful here. I don't think I appreciate it enough.

When Did We Get So Comfortable...

The neighbors are so comfortable with us that they came over and asked to borrow our rented porn.


And there's a story there that I am not going to tell you about the rented porn too...

The Fluff and Fold...

I have a Sunday ritual that at 1st glance I had dreaded and in the past few months I have grown rather fond of it. The Laundromat.

It's become my only time of the week with absolute peace. No cell phone, no mothers, no roommates, nothing. I have taken great lengths to make myself appear unapproachable. To the extent that I plug in my iPod and crank it up before I even step foot in the door. It is in fact my only laundry friend. I set to work at the task at hand. Hastily stuffing my clothes in a machine and promptly burying my nose in a book. From time to time, I actually read this book but mostly I people watch.

There is a whole cast of characters. There's the man with a lap top, that I imagine looks at porn, and pulls up a fake document everytime someone walks past. There is the woman who treats her kids so badly in public, that I have concern for their future.

Despite my hardest efforts to look utterly unapproachable, some how this plan occasionally fails. Like today, I was bopping along to Milkshake, and *tap tap* on my shoulder. I pull my little white ear plugs from my ears, sigh loudly and turn around.

Praise God (or Allah, or Macy's depending on what you worship), the most beautiful boy I have seen in quite sometime is smiling back at me.

I could make no words come from my mouth. None. My lower jaw just hung there suspended in air. He finally broke the hour long silence that was probably only 2 micro-seconds.

"Are you a DJ?"

A completely bewildered look must have instantly crossed my face because he began to explain himself.

"You see, I was using that machine just over there, and I first heard your player before I saw it and the only people I have ever known to have iPods are DJ's."

Ok, well I guess this guy missed the fact that they are now dispensed from vending machines on college campuses. Just slip in mommy's credit card....and there ya go. iPod.

"So are you?"

"No."

"Well, I just think it's cool. My name is Ryan (of course not his name, I just always loved that name.) I am camping here from outside of Chicago. " (Go figure.)

"Visiting friends or family?" I ask, actually wanting to hear the answer.

"Not at all. I am here alone. Sometimes the time away from everything is a nice release."

"Why on earth did you pick Nowhere?"

"My dad used to come here as a kid and have these great stories."

The conversation went on for a few minutes small talking about the weather and such. And then it ended just as abruptly as it started, because his load was dry. We parted ways, never to think of each other again.

And my roommate doesn't get why I enjoy my time there so much.

Take Me To The River...

Do you remember the Big Mouth Billy Bass? You know, that super annoying motion activated wall-mountable singing fish? Well, he has meet his match... Buck, the animated singing deer head. When Annie and I came across this, we knew we had to stop and take a picture. A store clerk came up and asked us if we wanted our picture taken with it.

Are you kidding me???? And Look at the price on that thing!!! WOW!!! And that's on sale!

I Mock Because I Didn't Know...

There really is a whole other world involving Star Wars toys. I was first tipped off to this when I heard someone mention Darth Tater. I found this to be wildly entertaining and just a little bit distrubing. And the other day, at my weekly lunch time visit to Digi's office, I found an M & M figure decked out in Star Wars apparel. I was beginning to get it.

And then at a shopping trip with Ray-Ray, I came across the Tater himself.

Now Available at your local Wal-Mart.

Everything Is Bigger In Texas...

Or at your local Wal-Mart. Check out this Lip Smacker I bought this week. DAMN!

And yes, I still buy Lip Smackers. Nothing makes my lips so soft...plus it tastes sooo good.

Meet Meow Mixxx...

The lovely Meow Mixxx has joined our little coven. If you have a taste of the silly, and slightly profane, you should check her out.

Friday Feast...

Appetizer
Did you sleep good last night?

I did ok. Probably got about 6 hours

Soup
What is your current computer desktop image?

At Home: Dierks Bentley, At Work: Hello Kitty

Salad
When was the last time you planted something, what was it and where did it go?

Sadly, I did not plant anything this year. So I could not tell you what I planted last year.

Main Course
What's your favorite condiment?

BBQ sauce. (Ok MrsGiggles, you can laugh)

Dessert
Share a quote that you like, for whatever reason.

"Do You Have Your Exit Buddy?"

$35.74 Sure Doesn't Buy Much These Days...

That's how much a tank of gas in my mid-sized car costs tonight. OMG!!! Gas is $2.54!!

I am not going to be one of those people who constantly whines about the price of gas...but daaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmn.

Musical Tag...

Thanks Lab Boy!

“List ten songs that you are currently digging ... it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're no good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the ten songs in your blog. Then tag five other people to see what they're listening to."

1. Jason Mraz - Wordplay
2. Dierks Bentley - Come A Little Closer
3. Rihanna - Pon De Replay
4. Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl
5. Lifehouse - You and Me
6. The Rocket Club - Believe
7. The Foo Fighters - Best Of You
8. Miranda Lambert - Kerosene
9. Josh Kelley - Only You
10. Natasha Beddingfield - These Words

Ok, now I tag... Mark, MrsGiggles, Potusol, Michael, and Gordy.

Only In Wisconsin...

Is this considered an accomplishment.

She will be available to book ribbon cuttings for Piggly Wiggly's any day now.

I Can Burn Water...

Why is it that when I lived at home, I could cook anything and now that I live on my own and my survival depends on it...I burn water?

Last night I was making pancakes and not once, but twice; I burned the pan. Not the pancakes, the pan. Did you know that non-stick pan spray will catch fire? It really does. I just couldn't get the pan the right temp and the spray kept burning. I have no idea how to get that out of the pan now. In my frustrations, I whipped out the waffle iron I thought I would never use.

I am a waffle goddess. Don't believe me? Come here, I'll prove it.

Moving At The Speed Of...

As I sit here writing this, I am thinking about Digi's post on the evils of Radiohead. And if I were clever, I would post a link to that post...but I'm not.

Let's talk about Coldplay. Am I not cool enough to grasp their sound? Is this cutting edge? The new direction of music? Am I going to be left behind? Honestly, I get annoyed by them after a minute of two. And it doesn't help that the local rado station plays them 11 times a day.

To give you an idea of where I am musically, as of late (outside of country) it's likely to hear me listening to Jason Mraz (Wordplay, hello?!?) then the Nsync of my past. But I still consider myself somewhat on the edge of music. I know what's 'cool' for the most part. This I just don't get. Is it their brit pop vibe that I can't dig? I doubt that because I was loving Natasha Beddingfield way before she was cool here.

Someone explain it to me please.

Friday Feast...

Appetizer
Briefly describe your living room.

It's kind of peachish with a green trim and has a country looking border...not my perfect living room

Soup
List 3 things you'd like to accomplish before the end of 2005.

Pass the dollar mark in salary that I feel to be important.



Salad
When you're online, what do you spend the most time reading/playing/doing? Suggest a site for us to visit.

I spend most of time time reading y'alls blogs. So I will direct you to anyone of my links for entertain of any variety.

Main Course
What would the title of your autobiography be?

A Guide to Living Life with No Direction

Dessert
What time do you usually go to bed?

Anywhere between 10 pm and midnight.

So, Rednecks Aren't So Bad...

I had an awesome night last night. Got ourselves some autopragphs. Met the man himself. Got some nice pictures. Screamed my head off.

A good time was had by all.

Bring On The Rednecks...

In a stunning move, I have made the choice to attend this evening Dierks Bentley show with Kiki.

And even more shocking, Annie is going with.

I am sooo excited.

Movie Mumblings...

I saw The Transporter, National Treasure, and You've Got Mail this week.

Well, let's start with Youv'e Got Mail. I am a girl, so girly movie swill is right up my alley. I love Meg Ryan (althou, I don't know if I can forgive her for Against The Ropes). I do so love this movie.

The Transporter: How I ended up with this is that I saw a preview for it's sequel when I went to see the Fantastic 4 last month. The sequel looked cool. So, I had to see the first one. (Let me just say at this point how much I love Netflix.) It was so stupid. It had terribly executed action scenes, a stinker plot, a bad leading lady.... I could go on and on. However, the driving was cool. But not cool enough to save the movie, as was the case of either of the Fast and Furious movies. I doubt I will be hurrying to see the sequel to this any time soon.

National Treasure: I liked it alot. Which is more then I can say for most Nic Cage movies (outside of Face/Off). Two minutes into it I was hooked. I liked it alot.

A Quiet Blogger...

I haven't had a whole lot to say since my return on Sunday.

I got squeakers fixed. First time in a long time that I have had no safety net in my savings. But that's the way it goes. Althou, I think stopping at stop signs is over rated.

I was filling in for Wheat Thin today by covering the vault. It went so much smoother then my last episode as vault teller. I actually got a card from Godzilla thanking me for my hard work.

Saltine is going on medical leave about now, and we are going to be super short handed and I guess I am picking up the slack. But that's cool whatever.

I am feeling like I want to change the feel of my blog. I don't know. Maybe I am just bored.