When Morning Attacks...

I have had my eyes open for 30 minutes and I am already regretting it.

I hit the snooze until it wass no longer possible this morning. I never used to be a snooze button girl. I used to sleep thou, too. So I guess they go hand in hand. The fact that I get any sleep is a fact that I find amazing. I have been rocked now for about 10 days with horrific dreams. They are terrible.

So after hitting the snooze until it was no longer possible, I rolled over, popped some pain pills (I feel like a junkie, I am not even out of bed and taking pills), and try and plan the best way to get up. Well, the minute I sat upright, I laid back down. I was sure I was going to be sick. I lay there for a second or two and then had no choice but to power through.

The first steps in the morning are the worst. I feel like a zombie. Dragging my dead foot behind me. Not quite able to walk. I turn on the shower. Boot up the computer. Hop in the shower. While I am in there, I come to the conclusion that my Vicodin may be the cause of my rotten dreams. So, I make a promise to myself that I am done with them now...I mean it's the weekend. So I am in a little pain on my own time. Do-able. Turn off the shower. Turn to get out. Slip in a spot of shower gel. As I lay in the shower crying, I wonder how badly I have hurt myself again. I came down on my injured left foot. I could feel it swelling, as I was in so much pain that my arms were shaking. Slowly I stand up and step down on it to get out of the shower. Everything goes all fuzzy for a second. My very bruised toes appear have taken the brunt of the impact. If they weren't broken before, they are now. They hurt so bad, that I can hardly bear it.

I drag myself to the kitchen, to see my schedule. As I stand there praying I go in at 7.45 insteead of 7.30 (because I feel at this point, I need those extra minutes.) F-U-U-U-U-U-C-K! I go in at 9. I could have gotten an extra 90 minutes of sleep. It's 7.09 right now, I would still be sleeping.

I should get up and make something to eat. Perphaps that vomitty feeling will go away then. But I am scared to move. I certainly can't call in with the way they have been treating me at work, so I guess I will just have to deal with it. It's only 8.5 hours. I can do this. Just wrap it a little tighter and I should be ok.

I am going out to dinner tonight with my sister-in-law, her mother, and sisters. I am a little intimadated. They are great people, why am I kinda nervous?

Oh well. Off to go get some clothes on. And to throw on a little Jamie Cullum. He makes everything better.