A Complete 180...

I love when a completely crap day, turns itself around and becomes something to make you smile.

I love that!

Today, I was all freaking out over school (still am), but I was on the phone just bitching away to my mom on lunch (now you know things were bad...I called mom). And she asked if I was really going back to school when I couldn't afford groceries. My reply was simple.

"I will obviously, continue to not eat."

For the 1st time in my adult life, my mother stepped up to the plate and was a mother.

She showed up at work with no less then 10 shopping bags full of food.

"Now you have one less thing to worry about."

That might be the coolest thing she has ever done.

And then...(I know, you are thinking, how could it get any better?)

We had some weird techincal program problem that was giving our IT Deptment A-N-D the programs tech support quite a bit of problems ...

And I fixed it, while they were all sitting around scratching their heads...me. I had to tell the tech support guys how to fix their problems.

HA!

I know it might seem silly to you, but I am feeling pretty good about things right now.

It Shouldn't Be This Hard...

I have never been one to think things through real well. Ask anyone in my family.

Sometimes this is a good thing, sometimes I dive into something and end up making an ass of myself. But more often then not, the more time I have to prepare for anything major, I talk myself out of it and end up bitching out.

Well, as I mentioned eariler, my newest quest is going back to school. I was talking to Bartender Josh on Wednesday of last week, and he was talking about his upcoming class schedule. He had just registered for classes that morning. Classes started today. I had been listening to Melly talk about school starting for several weeks. I started to get really jealous of the oppourtunity that going to school would eventually open up to them. I looked at Josh and announced that I was going back. I was making an advising appointment for the next day and I was going. That was all the thought I put into it.

I called that afternoon to make my appointment, and I was basically shut out. I was told it was too late to register. WTF!!!! That's bullshit. Josh had just registered that morning. I didn't think about it too much, but was really annoyed. Whatever.

So trying not to think too much of it, I thought, ok. Well, I am off a day closer to the end of the month...I will call then to get an appointment to talk about the Spring semster. For all practical purposes, this is a far better idea anyway. I would have had to take tutition money and everything out of my vacation money and I really need this vacation.

So, I pull the spring schedule off the internet at work and start looking at classes. I call the advising office to make the appointment and the woman tells me I can't even make the appointment to....TALK...about spring until almost 30 days from now. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?!

I don't even know if I am staying in the same program. I am thinking about tranferring, looking into differnet educational paths...and I can't even get into talk to anyone.

And another thing I have to figure in is, that I left school on academic probation. I can't even think about transferring until that is cleared up, no school is going to touch me. I have work issues to think about, I can't afford to not work right now. I mean, I am not really living the high life right not. I am looking for a second job. I get alot of flack for being out all the time, well, I am barely spending $10 a week being out. That's really not unreasonable. I am usually drinking soda and hanging out at the NWL as an excuse not to be in my apartment alone. I can't really even buy groceries...which, I mean my clothes fit better...but still.

I have to think about financing...who is going to pay for all this? I certainly can't depending on my parents. They can barely take care of themselves. This is all stuff I want to get into advising and at least get pointed in the right direction...

..and I can't even get an appointment.

It's not supposed to be this hard....really it's not.

Strange Things...

It's been an emotionally long week.

I am excited it's mostly over now.

Raise Your Voice...

I think I just got talked into bad karaoke with Melly and her parents.

I am not sure how that happened really.

A Change In Directions...

Lots of stuff on my mind lately. I have eluded to this. Perhaps I haven't I forget what I blog and what I don't anymore. I used to blog everything. Now it seems, I blog nothing of interest.

Anyway...

Lots of changes on the horizon.

The biggest being in the education department. I am thinking about going back to school in the spring. I am looking to change programs, which basically means starting over. I am alright with that. I have stuff I need to work out as far as working and such but, it's time to finish that up and feel like I accomplished something with my life.

I know I can have better then what I do.

There's a lot of other stuff weighing prettily heavily on my mind right now, but trust that I will talk about it when the time is right.

Right now, I just need you to love me as much as I love you.

Edumacated...

I learned that you cannot sign up for classes at the local college 3 days before classes start.

Throw Down Tuesdays...

Today's battle of choice.

Slutty bitchy co-worker.

Problem: Trouble with authority. Mine. My position of power of hers.

Answer: Lock bitch in vault. Punch kidney.

Situation resolved.

All That And A Bag Of Piss...

Melly and I were just outside saying goodbye and so was my crazy church neighbor.

Normally, we wouldn't think anything of it.

Except she was standing there holding her cath bag.

The woman was standing outside. Holding a bag full of piss, connected by tubing to her cooch.

What does one say to that?

*sigh*

Today, I threw my hands up in frustration and had to remove myself from several situations.

I got up this morning, still wearing the clothes I came home in at 5 a.m. (I wasn't drinking, thou I was having a heart-to-heart with a friend). I grabbed a hat, and got in my car. Not really telling my friends where I was going, I left. I needed to not be in this town for awhile.

Well, due to a series of events, I ended up coming home in the evening.

I spent some time with someone who just let me talk. It was nice.

Then I got back to town and my frustrations were still here.

Instead of saying things that I knew I would regret, I bit a hole through my tongue. Sometimes it's easier to walk away.

Why I Am Cooler Then You...

Do you have a drink named after you?

I didn't think so.

My namesake is a bucket sized glass of cheap rail vodka on the rocks with a lime floated under the ice.

Long night last night. Lots of apologizing today.

Worth A Thousand Words...

I am looking at photos from last week.

Wow, once you really look at some of them...the body langauge SCREAMS at you.

Huh! Makes me want to look a little closer at some of my friendships a little closer.

The Final Countdown...

60 days from now I will be in sunny California.

I am not going to lie to you. I am excited as all hell!!! I am ready to get out of town for a little bit.

To get ready, I have granted myself permission to spend a little money to purchase a few new items for the trip.

On the list...a new purse. I gotta have a new one for this! Wilson's here I come!!

*As much as I want to drop mad cash on a hot as hell purse, Kiki is probably just going to loan me a few of hers.*

Who Is Going To Play With Me Now...

Bartender Josh is at the Cubs game today. I am jealous and now I don't know what to do with my night.

A Day In The Life Of...

Here's my monday as depicted by photos...

You Know What Sucks...

...fucking drama...

A Fairly Good Time...

Wisconsin Valley Fair Last night.

Grandstand Entertainment: Chris Cagle.

Performance: eh. I found it lacking. It could have been sooo much better. But he's still a hottie.


Actual Entertainment: Josh spending INSANE amounts of money to win carnival stuffed animals such as this, for his women folk.


Discovery Made: More food should be served on sticks.

The Absence Of Justice...

It's been a rough time at work lately. One of my co-workers, the much mentioned Saltine, is going through a bit of a cancer scare right now. In fact, the clinic just called and insisted that she be seen for a biopsy right now, instead of next week as scheduled. In a small office, when something happens to one of us, all of us feel it.

Being one of the only 3 people in my office that I can tolerate and am friends with outside of work, I am scared for her. I can look at her and see how scared she is. She hasn't even told her children what's going on yet, because she doesn't even know where to begin. She doesn't know if she even has something to tell them yet.

This morning I expressed concern that she is seeing local doctors. Our local hospital is somewhat infamous for giving substandard second rate care. It makes me even more scared for her.

I think about all the truly rotten people in life, and have to wonder. Why do honest, good people always have the hardest time? You don't hear about rapists and murderers developing life altering diseases. Christ, they couldn't contract herpes from a $3 hooker on Sunset Boulevard.

They say when life closes a door, a window is opened. Or that when life takes something away, you get something better in return. What does life give you in exchange for your breast?

It's times like these that I firmly believe that there is no justice in this world.

What The Hell...

It's 9.15 in the evening. I am bored as fuck and going to bed.

Oh Come On...

No one had anything to say about that picture?

Where Did We Go Wrong...

Ever get home and wonder what at what point did things take a wierd turn?


I kind of wonder when we crossed that line.