God Damn, I Needed That...

So. I went out last night with my friend Skeletor. We call her that, because sometimes, she appears that thin. Anyway, ended up hooking up with one of Bartender's friends. Very cute boy. He rescued me from a crazy guy, and I ended up... ... ... really enjoying his company. hehe. He made me feel pretty for just a few moments.

Now, I have to run to Wal-mart and change my hours, buy some groceries and then hit the books pretty hard core. I have to finish two papers today.

What A Good Sign...

"I'm worried you like me too much."

My new favorite text from the boy.

*tightens noose around neck*

Mayor Of The Friend Zone...

The boy tonight asked me about dating the bitchy gross girl that works for Bartender. He wants to know what kinds of flowers she likes.

*looks around for noose*

It All Falls Apart In The End...

So...the boy mentioned below. We are not dating. He actually said the sentence tonight,

"It's ok that we hang out like this, and we aren't going out, right?

Bummer.

Miracles Will Happen As We Dream...

I am losing my damn mind. I had started bullet pointing this...Fuck that.

Ok, I work at Wal-Mart. It's December. Enough said. And you know, I don't hate the job. I hate the materialism of the season. Christmas has been ruined for me.

On that note, I have like no money to try and live my life on, and try and buy holiday gifts. God forbid my mother doesn't get something shiny.

As a result, I have been picking up extra shifts in the restaurant to try and make ends meet. I now work 6 days a week.

In said restaurant, I work with the biggest fucking drama queen, I have ever come in contact with. She's so fucking irresponsible, and I have to keep Bartender on stand by, in case she flakes out and I am short one wait person.

I like a boy. I haven't been talking about it. But, there's a boy. I like this boy. I used to sort of date his stinky, stupid friend. He used to date (or be engaged to, I forget) Melly's little sister. We both openly admit being attracted to each other. It's not something we hide. We very much enjoy each other's company. We "hang out" from time to time. Movie dates, sit around watching movies, he randomly shows up at my place of employment to see me. And still, we are not together. I really like this boy. It's never going to happen. But, I am still sticking it out. Stranger things have happened.

All these things combined with the fact that it's the last two weeks of the semester, I just might have a breakdown.

No one really understands, because no one else is in my shoes. And that sucks, not having anyone relate to this. However, Bartender, Davey and Junior, have been going out of their way to make things easier on me. I have good friends.

Oh...and I hate that my roommate stomps when he walks and insists on chewing with his mouth open.

He Is Really Bad At This Game...

Are you ready for an update in the boy story?

So, he's always giving me crap about working so late and we can never hang out, well, Monday I was done at 8 and asked if he wanted to see a movie. I didn't hear from him all day, so I guessed that was a no. He happens to call me just as I am getting home to ask if I wanted to do something. I get to the top of my stairs to discover that my roommate has dead bolted me out of the apartment. I could not seem to wake him, so I explained to boy that until I had this resolved plans were on hold.

Instead of melting in the heat, I walked down by Bartender, because his bar is air conditioned, and attempted to wake the roommate. 30 minutes later, the door was unlocked. I let boy know I would be over as soon as I changed clothes.

"I have friends over now."

"Oh. Um. Ok maybe this weekend?"

He calls to tell me that he doesn't actually have friends over...yet. But he might. His friend is a girl visiting from Canada and doesn't have a cell phone so he can't confirm plans with her. But, he'll call me at 10 if she doesn't show.

No real plans are made. I continue to hang out with Bartender, since I have no where to be. Since neither of us has bought his sister's birthday present, I have been sent to purchase them. Bartender keeps mentioning that Boy should probably had said something to the effect of his friend being his one eyed cousin just to smooth things over. It is decided that should Boy call and try to make plans I am not going. I brush it off and head on my mission.

While shopping, Boy calls. His friend wants to go shoot pool. Do I want to come? Um...no. Ok, so I agree to meet them (stupid girl).

I KID YOU NOT. 5 minutes later, "She changed her mind, we are going to hang out here. Wanna do something tomorrow?"

"I'm sort of busy."

"Maybe another day?"

I commit to nothing because I am bitter.

I retell the story to Bartender, and he asks what I was doing the next day that I couldn't hang out with him. I work at 5, so there was no reason I couldn't hang out during the day. I was just being pissy.

Well, fast forward to 10 am yesterday. I am laying on the floor in my living room in front of a box fan wearing the least amount of clothing possible and just trying not to melt and he texts to ask how my day is. I describe the situation and his reply is...

"I have air... wanna come over?"

I don't reply for several minutes.

"I'm getting in the shower. Be ready in 30 minutes."

We watch Donnie Darko (first time for me, what a mind fuck), and we have lots of little 3rd grade flirty moments. Accidental hand brushings, sliding closer on the couch....JUST PULL THE TRIGGER DUDE. You got me here....obviously, you've been green lighted.

Well, we took a break from movies to hang a curtain. So here we are...standing on his bed. I go to get off and lose my footing and fall over. Ok. So dude, I'm laying on your bed... this seems like the perfect time to mention your girlfriend (she's not a girlfriend!). Frustrated I roll off the bed and shuffle to the couch. We are sitting there talking and he asks if he can put Star Wars on in the back ground. Now, you might be thinking...what a geek. What you don't know is, I have ever seen Star Wars. Not a single solitary minute of any of them. The more people freak out about me not seeing it...the funnier it is for me to not see it.

I caved. I sat and watched one hour of New Hope. I'm not impressed. But ok. I will end up seeing all of them, so I can say I have finally.

Ok whatever, he drives me home, says he'll call me later.

OH WHAT THE HELL! Dude, I keep coming over....clearly the girlfriend doesn't bother me. What is the hold up?!


He is sooo bad at this game!!

The Plot...Thickens,,,,

Well, I went yesterday. I had a really nice time yesterday. We went to see Harry Potter, we sat and talked, it was nice. Afterward, I had to leave because I had dinner plans with a friend, but as soon as I left he invited me for more even activites with his friends. I was unable to meet up for that but he did meet me at the bar after softball to shoot a couple games of pool.

I will explain it later, but I consider his relationship status to be one one that is a weak story. He met her on-line and she lives in Central IL. I don't consider someone he doesn't even see on a casual basis to be something of a situation for me to deal with.

So, I don't think I am going to change my course of actions.

Just When You Thought I Couldn't Get Any Dumber...

I am going over to his house today.

Yup, That's About Right...

Right after, he asked me to a movie, I get this.

"I have an interesting relationship story. But the bulk of it is, I am not single."

Excuse me while I play in traffic.

How Does That Work...

There's more food in my cupboard for the cats then me. There's less then a quarter tank of gas in my car. There's a stack of bills I can't pay. I think I need to look for moving boxes. My checking account balance is single digits.

But one text message from him, and I am grinning like a school girl. I think I have a crush.

Oh, He Is Good...

A quote from the new boy...

"You have a charisma about you that demands attention."

It's been awhile since I have been complimented by the opposite sex in such a way I had no reply. He said some other things that were also really nice....but this one stands out to me tonight.

Like All Great Stories...

This one's about a boy.

So there's this boy. He used to date the sister of a friend I am very close with. He also happens to be the friend of someone I dated a few times off and on for the last year or so. Someone I know socially at least. Well, he sought me out the other day. There's been some mild flirting...just some fun. Nothing worth mentioning yet really, but worth mentioning if that makes sense.

Anyway, I was talking to Bartender about this boy and it occurred to me that I have actually put road blocks up to avoid being in relationships. I hate not being in control. And sometimes, you can't control everything in a relationship.

Well, with as depressed as I have been lately, I am thinking that maybe giving up a little control and letting myself be open to the little "pick me up" situation, might not be such a bad thing.